Saturday, November 23, 2013

A New Season

This post has absolutely nothing to do with the beach, but I promised to post some beach pictures, so they're just a bonus to my ramblings today... :)

For the first time in a very long time, I am in a new place in my life.  I have found something I have longed for, prayed for, searched for, and had just about decided my heart was incapable of.


In this season, in this moment.
Now, most would assume (and I would have years ago) this contentment came when a little 7 lb, 5 oz baby entered my world a few months ago.  It is true - she has brought more joy, more happiness, and more love than I could have ever possibly imagined.  Our little Sadie is no doubt an unmistakable gift from God.    

But I want to be clear - this contentment is not about Sadie.  
This contentment is not about taking a year off from teaching...or, from a having perfectly imperfect marriage.

It's about Jesus.  It's about the heart change I have had.  It's about this season of life that He has brought me to - a season full of mothering, and ministering, and serving, and living in the right now.  It's about what He's doing in me.
Don't mistake this contentment as life is perfect.  Far from it.  My life is messy right now to say the least.  Some days are down right hard.  I still face struggles everyday, and go to bed many nights feeling like I should have accomplished more in the day.  I still face feelings of failure and insecurity.  Life is still too busy and more chaotic than it really should be.  I still mess up and have to ask for forgiveness daily.  
But, my heart is full.  And, I know, that I know, that I know, for this moment in time - I'm right where I need to be, doing exactly what I've been called to do.  Be a wife, be a mother, serve in ministry, and daily live in the moment - accepting the grace I've been so graciously given.  You see, I've spent way too many days and years just making it through.  Just surviving.  Loving the Lord always; but, never resting in Him enough to be content with where He had me.  Always looking and searching for the next season instead of enjoying the joy of the every day.  

The Lord has allowed me to break those chains I've been in for so long, and just breathe.  And rest in Him.  To enjoy this place, this time. Oh what peace contentment brings.

And friends, it feels good.

While this contentment is not hinged on having had Sadie, or my current employment status, or my marriage - having contentment with ME and my life allows me to find even greater joy in those things.  

So, I felt compelled to share this new season of contentment for 2 reasons.  The first, to celebrate...WHOOP, WHOOP!! :) Second, I want to encourage you if you just read this and feel bewildered or frustrated, because you are in a place of complete dis-contentment.  If you're worn out and tired.  Searching and trying to desperately reach a place of peace in your life, a place of contentment...hold on, friend.  Keep your head up high, and keep your eyes fixed on Him.  

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer...let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)   

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